MAKING FRIENDS

This morning I read an interesting article on how difficult it can be for people to make, and maintain, meaningful friendships once they enter their 30s.

Although not yet in my 30s, the sentiment of this article resonated with me, as Alex and I definitely struggled with this phenomenon after the 6 year old came into our care and started making friends at her new school. Neither of us have many friends who have children, and while I am lucky enough to have some of the most amazing and supportive friends you could ask for*, I couldn't help but wonder if I should start making friends with fellow parents, both for the sake of the 6 year old and for my sake - having people who I could relate to in terms of the lice treatments, discipline tactics, fun kids craft activities, and all the other little nuances that come with raising a child.

I don't know how earnestly I tried, to be honest. Luckily for us, the 6 year old's best friend has parents who are quite like-minded when it comes to their lifestyle and general philosophies - we can chat fairly easily about growing a vegetable garden and enjoying a child-free drunken wine night on the weekend. But, at the end of the day, I just wasn't able to relate on any meaningful level. The age gap doesn't help - try as I might to relate, I don't have the same thoughts, worries, life experience as someone approaching their 40s. Likewise, I'm sure they can see that I am of an entirely different generation, and still finding my feet with this whole parenting thing. Maybe the obstacle is more my inability to fully commit to making an effort. Either way, I came to realise that while it certainly helps to be able to relate to these people as friendly acquaintances, why do I need more than that? Perhaps, rather than trying to force friendships out of obligation or some perceived need, we should just let new ties form naturally - to whatever extent they happen to develop - and not try to push beyond that.


*At the end of the day, while my friends may be childless, we still relate to each other on a level that is irreplaceably meaningful, and I hope that these bonds will carry through well into and past our 30s.